The C.H.A.R.M.© Story: In the summer of 2014, fellow Preventionists Marcella Maggio & Alejandra Aguilar created a set of guidelines to C.H.A.R.M.© their most resistant participants into conversations about healthy relationships by focusing on their key ingredients to having & maintaining one: Communication, Have Fun, Accountability, Respect, and Make Space & Take Space
While the young men who were incarcerated claimed they already knew how to “charm” others, within weeks the same participants were asking Alejandra & Marcella questions and sharing stories about how they wanted to get help and prevent harm. Which led to the preventionists discovering the benefits the C.H.A.R.M.© guidelines had in all relationships & inspiring their tagline, C.H.A.R.M.© them all!
Though independently since 2019, when Alejandra & Marcella revised and expanded the C.H.A.R.M.© Model, replacing Acknowledgle & Apologize with Accountability and both creating solo material, they have shared C.H.A.R.M.© via workshops, mentoring sessions, and outreach programs throughout California, Washington D.C., Illinois, and Mexico.
The C.H.A.R.M.© Model:
C.H.A.R.M.© invites us to connect with others using agreed upon guidelines; ways to charm each other in relationships based on behaviors founded on equality & respect.
Communication: To prevent conflict, we can focus on practicing healthy communication that involves active listening to understand, not to react.
Have Fun: Relationships develop & strengthen when partners share in activities that are fun & interesting for both.
Accountability: We all make mistakes, which is why it’s important to set clear expectations, respect those set by others, and to take responsibility for our own involvement and contributions in situations.
Respect: Since this word is often misused and overused, we can clarify what respect means to us by treating all opinions equally, being considerate of time & creating space for needs.
Make Space & Take Space: When having conversations or enjoying activities, everyone is given equal space, physically and emotionally, to share. Relationships are most rewarding when we can make space for others’, while being assertive and taking space for ourselves.
These guidelines can be applied to all relationships, from personal & professional, up-close to online, family gatherings to work meetings.
Express Self,
Improve Health &
C.H.A.R.M.© them all!