Posts tagged trauma
Showing UP for Sophia: What is Resilience?
Showing UP for Sophia: What is Resilience?

“Kids are resilient — they can bounce back from anything.”

I’ve heard these words often. I’ve repeated them myself, especially to myself. I meant them without question. Until I started having conversations about healthy relationships with youth who were kept in cages.

Our society refers to these structures as juvenile detention centers — a facility in which inmates are forcibly confined and denied a variety of freedoms under the authority of the state as a form of punishment after being convicted of crimes. Quite a sentence for youth who don’t have fully developed brains until the age of 25 — the development of the prefrontal cortex affects how to regulate emotions, control impulsive behavior, assess risk and make long-term plans. In addition, the cerebellum affects cognitive maturity, but unlike the prefrontal cortex, the development of the cerebellum appears to largely depend on environment, as Dr. Jay Giedd at Rady Children's Hospital in San Diego told PBS.

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generational trauma, healthy relationships, prevention education, mentor, relationships, resiliency, unhealthy relationshipsMarcella MaggioACEs, trauma, child abuse, accountability, childhood trauma, relationships, resiliency, break the pattern, inner child, inside kid Comments
Showing UP for Sophia: Love in the Last Lane
Showing UP for Sophia: Love in the Last Lane

Karma is only a bitch if you are.

I thought we were rolling steady, though slow. Until I noticed he always seemed ready to get off the road. One tire in, one tire out? Dangerous, exhilarating, and exhausting. I had to decide if I was ready to ride or die. I wasn’t down for either, until I was.

After he decided to leave me in the dust and drive back to his hometown with our daughter, I picked up my bags and have been crashing on my Mom’s couch since mid-February. When I met him five Februarys ago, he was living with a longtime friend, sleeping on his couch.

Karma is only a bitch if you are.

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child abuse, co-parenting, family, generational trauma, healthy relationships, parenting, prevention education, relationships, resiliency, toxic stress, transgenerational trauma, unhealthy relationshipsMarcella MaggioIt's My Lifedrama, trauma, music, self-love, self-worth, forgiveness, freedom, karma, bitch, beliefs, behaviorsComment
Showing UP for Sophia: And Like That, She's Gone
Showing UP for Sophia: And Like That, She's Gone

I have work to do, but I can’t stop crying. I have to get it out first. I have to be with this. I have to feel it all. Even when my breath tightens, even when my legs can’t stop shaking, even when I have to pause typing for every word to cry. I have to understand why I feel like such a failure. I have to know to go forward. Deep down I already know what it is, I’ve just never named it. Only shamed and blamed it in others.

This is my mid-life crisis. This is where I see all of my shit. Where I face my shadows, the darker parts of myself that I don’t want you to know. So why am I telling you now? Because I’m done hiding.

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child abuse, co-parenting, family, generational trauma, healthy relationships, mentor, parenting, prevention education, relationships, resiliency, transgenerational trauma, unhealthy relationshipsMarcella MaggioIt's My Liferelationships, resiliency, trauma, trust, trusted adult, transgenerational trauma, storytelling, family, family issues, guardian, ignorance, parenting, parenthood, prevention education, aces, awareness, survivor, depression, identity, healthy relationship, healing, thriver, break the pattern, breakup, love, communication, boundaries, mental health, adverse childhood experiences, mentor Comment
Showing UP for Sophia: Good Thing
Showing UP for Sophia: Good Thing

I knew next to nothing about the fathers of my children. All three of them. Third times the charm? In the sense that I‘m certain I’ll never have another baby with a man I barely know? Absolutely. Not only because I’m 44, but because I’m over the concept that I need to be with the father to be there for our child. We are. We will be. I’m trusting that John and I will show up for Sophia in the ways she needs, since we weren’t showing up for each other, which was unfair to us all.

I’ve been here before. I know what usually happens... I get the kid and he and I hate each other, forever. As if that tactic worked with my first two children who have since confessed that I regularly crossed their boundaries by sharing too much, and rarely got consent from their fathers for making choices that concerned our children. Not this time.

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co-parenting, family, generational trauma, healthy relationships, parenting, relationships, resiliency, transgenerational trauma, unhealthy relationshipsMarcella MaggioIt's My Lifeaccountability, awareness, resiliency, relationships, trauma, transgenerational trauma, family, family issues, survivor, identity, divorce, parenting, parenthood, prevention education, empathy, support, adverse childhood experiences, family dispute, guardian, healthy relationship, communication, co-parenting, breakupComment
One... Two... Three... Triggered!
One... Two... Three... Triggered!

My Mama wasn’t allowed to be a kid. At twelve she started working outside her family's home, but at six she had been instructed to work inside. The third of twelve children, there was little opportunity for her to go outside and play. She soon forgot what play was. I wanted to remind her by giving her a day to let her Inside Kid OUT at Wonderspaces.

We had lots of fun... exploring, laughing, until we didn't. An hour after smiling for the camera, we were arguing with each other.

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transgenerational trauma, resiliencyMarcella MaggioWonderspacesadverse childhood experiences, mother daughter relationship, trauma, resiliency, healing, communication, healthy relationship, trusted adult, religion, judgment, love, fear, god, smile, support, child abuse, prevention education, parenthood, mentor, accountability, warning signs, judgement, wonderspaces, san diego, play date, aces, break the pattern, breathing techniques, argument, family dispute Comments
Throwback Thursday - "What have you learned since your first day of high school?" (1992 English assignment)
Throwback Thursday - "What have you learned since your first day of high school?" (1992 English assignment)

They say, "I know you. I understand." Understand. This is a word quite easy to say, but usually difficult to do. Over the past three years I have been trying to realize the true meaning of this word and use it to its fullest. Maturity begins in the soul and progresses with experience of new ideas, adventures and time. The name calling, fights, betrayal of friends and involvement with the law have all matured my soul from a fragile teenager into a knowledgeable young lady.

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throwback thursdayMarcella MaggioIt's My Lifeenglish assignment, student, high school, sexual assault, rape, trauma, writer, homework, empathy, ignorance, learnComment
Regulate Triggers - Fight, Flight or Freeze
Regulate Triggers - Fight, Flight or Freeze

What is a Trigger?

A trigger is a reminder of a past trauma that can cause a person to feel overwhelming sadness, anxiety, or panic. It may also cause a person to have flashbacks (a vivid, often negative memory that may appear without warning), or lose track of their surroundings and “relive” a traumatic event.

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prevention educationMarcella MaggioIt's My Lifefight, flight, freeze, trauma, aces, trigger, triggers, sadness, anxiety, depression, resiliency, trauma-informed, survivor, thriverComment
I ACEd, but She Graduated
I ACEd, but She Graduated

"I don't know, I feel silly. Maybe I shouldn't walk?"

 "What do you mean? You've worked hard, you earned this."

 "Yeah but, it's only my Associates."

 Only?

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transgenerational traumaMarcella MaggioIt's My Lifegraduation, graduate, college, associates degree, degree, community college, adverse childhood experiences, aces, trauma, chronic trauma, parenthood, children, transgenerational trauma, break the pattern, healing, accountability, counseling, advocacy Comments