You know how you know something, but you don’t know how you know it?
That’s my life in a nutshell right now. A total shit show. I’m about to lose the only home I’ve known for the past four years. The longest I’ve lived with a man since my father. Ironic considering I began to see John as my father... secretive, aloof, unavailable.
Is it inevitable? Do we end up with people like our parents?
Maybe. Or maybe we settle for the stories they showed us.
Read MoreA friend checked in with me asking if John and I had talked. We had. We came to a compromise. She asked if I was happy with the plan.
I’m not happy, but… I know it needs to happen. I know we need to be the trusted adults Sophia needs. We need to show up for her. It’s not about us, beyond how our co-parenting will impact her life.
Read MoreDear John,
Watching Marriage Story on New Year’s Eve was the ending I needed to witness in order to understand our own. Like Charlie and Nicole, we have history, we share a child, and we both want our child to be raised in an environment where she can thrive. While our similarities don’t stop there, the difference in how their ending started inspired me to follow suit. A mediator encouraged them to write a note of positivity to remember why they got married (together) in the first place. Here is mine:
Read MoreFacing my ACEs helped me understand why I had no ABCs.
Being told how to feel taught me to mistrust myself.
I had no awareness that I could have boundaries or should require consent.
What was consent?
My boundaries were crossed every day.
I had no privacy or choice, just rules and punishment.
Now that I know my ABCs and have become my own Trusted Adult,
I’m introducing others to theirs.
Read MoreLet’s talk about… Victim Mentality.
What is it?
Why does it exist?
How can we prevent it?
First off, who am I to write about such a topic? Well, if you know me… or have known me in the last 43 years, you know I know how to play the role “just right”. And if you know me, you just nodded in agreement. Here’s the twist, if you nodded, it’s because you know firsthand, for yourself. Whether you are aware of your own victim mentality or not, I am merely a reflection of you. So… with that being said… let’s face facts.
Read MoreI wasn’t a good mother. I wanted to be. I tried to be. But I only knew as much as I learned, and what I learned wasn’t good.
My mother screamed, and hit, and hurt everyone in our home. Especially me. I was singled out for being the only girl. Given rules and expectations that didn’t apply to my brothers. Years later, I’d learn why.
Read MoreOn February 3, 2011, Traci invited me to audition for MORTIFIED: Angst Written, a stage show in Hollywood where audiences witness adults sharing their most embarrassing childhood artifacts (journals, letters, poems, lyrics, plays, home movies, art), in order to reveal stories about their lives. I was intrigued, and flattered, but also convinced that my stories weren't funny enough. She was the funny one. So, I didn't audition.
Read MoreMy Mama wasn’t allowed to be a kid. At twelve she started working outside her family's home, but at six she had been instructed to work inside. The third of twelve children, there was little opportunity for her to go outside and play. She soon forgot what play was. I wanted to remind her by giving her a day to let her Inside Kid OUT at Wonderspaces.
We had lots of fun... exploring, laughing, until we didn't. An hour after smiling for the camera, we were arguing with each other.
Read MoreThey say, "I know you. I understand." Understand. This is a word quite easy to say, but usually difficult to do. Over the past three years I have been trying to realize the true meaning of this word and use it to its fullest. Maturity begins in the soul and progresses with experience of new ideas, adventures and time. The name calling, fights, betrayal of friends and involvement with the law have all matured my soul from a fragile teenager into a knowledgeable young lady.
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